Three lessons I learned from being a veterinarian who married another veterinarian
Ever wondered what it would be like to be a veterinarian who is married to another veterinarian?
Well, in this article, I’m going to tell you about my experience of being a veterinarian who is married to another veterinarian.
Being engaged and being at different veterinary schools for 4 years was challenging at times, but we made it through!
Overall, it’s been an amazing experience, mostly because my wife is an amazing person. I’m sure there’s some veterinarian-to-veterinarian magic or something that comes along with it.
There have been 3 important things that I’ve learned from my experience.
1. Different vets are different
That may sound like common sense, but I think it’s easy for society to put veterinarians into a generic box, where we all play with puppies and kittens all day.
Surely, people assume that they know what I do everyday when I tell them, “I’m a veterinarian.” Wouldn’t you agree?
However, my wife and I have had many differences in our careers as vets, and our days look very different!
Even though we started out at the same practice doing the exact same type of work, we are now blossoming into our truly authentic selves with our own unique veterinary career, journey, and overall experience!
Acupuncture vs wellbeing speaker/teacher
For one, she loves acupuncture and got her certification from the Chi Institute. Me, on the other hand, I like to travel to veterinary hospitals, vet schools, and veterinary conferences and speak to my colleagues on the topic of wellbeing - how to prioritize it, cultivate it, and maintain it!
Preferred cases/surgeries
In terms of cases, my wife loves big, fat, bloody surgeries. She loves the surgeries that I typically try to weasel my way out of!
I like cat neuters, dog neuters, and 20-week-old pit bull puppy spays. By the way, those neuters ARE NOT allowed to be abdominal cryptorchids! She likes the large breed, deep-chested, in-heat, greasy, bloody, spay - wtf? She’s sick!
She likes medicine cases that give you a headache and make you want to throw something. I now do mostly preventive care clinics!
Leadership roles
She used to be the Chief of Staff of a fairly large and busy small animal practice, and she now owns her own very successful integrative mobile practice! Interestingly enough, I sometimes tech for her.
On the other hand, I’m the president of a non-profit organization that has a purpose to improve diversity, inclusion, and cultural competency among the entire veterinary profession. I’m also the co-founder of Get MotiVETed LLC, a company dedicated to making poor veterinary wellbeing a thing of the past! I’ve also somehow found myself on a vet school admissions committee, which is kinda fun.
Real vet vs. fake vet
I guess society would say she’s more of a “real vet” than I am at this point, which you and I know to be false!
If I’m a ‘fake vet’, then I must say that I’m having a damn good time being a fake vet. Don’t hate!
Most importantly, we both love animals and people! Our methods of making an impact on the world and the vet community are just different!
2. Being married to another vet has it’s advantages and disadvantages
When we first graduated from veterinary school in 2013, we both worked at the same 7 doctor practice.
It was certainly an interesting experience. It was cool to know the same crowd of people and to be able to know exactly what the other person was experiencing. We could really relate to each other, ya know?
Working together
On the flip side, when one of us would be having a hard day or difficult cases and you could tell there was inner turmoil and stress, it was really hard for the other person to watch.
Can you imagine seeing your significant other struggling with a difficult situation or surgery or client?
I used to hate those days when you could tell my wife was going through it! I guess the good thing is that we could always check in on each other, and we did do that.
Flirt opportunities ;-)
My wife did think I was hot (sexy) in my scrubs, which I guess was an added benefit for her. I mean, if it turned her on, then more power to her. We only snuck back to radiology a few times haha just kidding! Ok, I’m done!
It definitely wasn’t like the tv show “scrubs” or any of those other hospital-based tv dramas. We kept it clean!
Student loans
Another disadvantage was that we had twice the student loan debt load. While we’re handling them well, it was A LOT of money! For what it’s worth, she had more student loan debt, so it’s not like she can blame me for it all!
Pets
Yes, we have 1 million pets!
This one is an advantage and disadvantage, and seems to come with the territory. When we first started dating in undergrad as animal science majors, we adopted two cats together and got a mountain feist puppy together (little sweet pea).
Luckily, we were able to pawn the cats off to my parents, but we ended up getting a few more pets over the years.
So we now have a grand total of 5 chickens, 1 blue-crowned conure, 7 dogs, and two beautiful talking, bipedal critters that are proving to be smarter than the two of us are!
It’s kinda fun I guess.
3. The BIGGEST lesson of all
There are tons of ways to #vetmed. Our careers have lots of similarities and lots of differences. She loves what she’s created for herself, and I love what I’ve created for myself. We both do veterinary medicine our way, and we are consciously creating every moment of it!
Do vet med YOUR way
If there’s something that you want to do in vet med and you can’t find it, then create it yourself!
If you’re not happy with where you are - and my wife and I have both been there before - then bounce, and create the ideal vet experience of your dreams!
Shameless Plug: My company, Get MotiVETed LLC has a 4-hour RACE-Approved CE course that teaches the principles of creating an ideal veterinary experience that is free from burnout and characterized by fulfillment and inner-peace! Yes… it’s awesome, and yes I recommend taking it if you’re not fully enjoying your life and career as a human and vet professional.
Tag along opportunities
We are also benefiting from each other’s journey. For example, when she goes off to Spain in the Fall for an advanced acupuncture course, you’d better believe that I’m taggin’ along! I’ll be chillin’ while she’s learnin’. OK, I’ll likely be writing and creating more wellbeing-related RACE-approved online course content while I’m there too. But I’ll also be enjoying my paella, gazpacho, and maybe some sangria!
Likewise, she usually tags along on my speaking trips where I fly across the country to do my wellbeing thing!
The benefits and perks go both ways!
Final thoughts
So if you’re a veterinary professional who’s considering marrying another veterinary professional, then I approve that message, and I think my wife would too! I say go for it! Just be sure to do your due diligence and make sure they’re not a jerk as a human before you say, “I do!”