Understanding your love language
Every Relationship in Your Life is Operating From a Language of Love
How we express love is limitless. This is why it can be difficult to feel loved even when it is being shown. How we prefer to be loved matters. The people who care about us most will take the time to understand what we need to feel loved. So while we wait to feel loved and understood by others, what can we learn about ourselves?
The 5 Primary Love Languages
There are 5 basic categories that people use to begin understanding love languages. These categories include words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
If your dominant love language is words of affirmation, you might hold a deep value for compliments, verbal recognition, and deep communication. If you value quality time, you feel most appreciated through intentional one-on-one interactions and intimate discussions.
If receiving gifts is the love language that resonates most, then a gift of flowers could go a long way. If you feel most appreciated through acts of service, then you are a practical lover. You will feel loved through small gestures of spontaneity, like having a bath run for you or someone cooking dinner for you. If you value physical touch, a hug or holding hands might mean a lot more to you than it would for most people.
Why It Matters
How you give and receive love is a pillar in your ability to build relationships. It often determines who you attract and who you feel most attracted to. Understanding how you prefer to be loved can help you teach others how to treat you properly.
While we all enjoy different forms of love from others, each of us has a preference for how we wish to be loved. In fact, it's less about preference and more about how our needs are best met. The way we prefer to be loved is how we choose to love others by default. This means it's up to you to learn other languages of love so you can meet people where they are best met in love. This will help strengthen the relationships in your life all across the board.
If you don't know yourself and your love language, it won't be easy to expect understanding from someone else. Not everyone who comes into your life will know exactly what you need to feel appreciated. A lot of the time, it's up to you to set the standard for how others treat you and get to know you on an intimate level.