Why its crucial you create intentional space
As veterinary professionals, we hold the space for animal owners to lean on us, open up to us, and share with us their moments of joy, frustration, and grief.
We also hold the space for animals to be happy, ill, terrified, full of vigor, full of adrenaline, full of love, and everything in between.
On any given day, we may see anywhere from 15 - 40, maybe more, pets in an 8-12 hours time window.
When I was younger, I used to help with a monthly low-cost vaccination clinic. I can assure you that there were locations where we routinely saw upwards of 100 pets at one location!
Regardless of the number of pets, you may see in a day. Perhaps you don't see family-owned pets, maybe your work is in a zoo, on a farm, in the classroom.
You are a helper, an educator, a trainer, a caregiver, and a giver in general. Sometimes you’re the facilitator – the in-between for healing and learning to occur. You’re always holding the space for someone else to grow, to heal, and to be.
But…
Where's YOUR space to grow, heal, learn, recover, play, nourish?
This is a vital question that needs to be answered, and in this article, I offer you some ways to go about answering this question for yourself!
The emerging data points to a collective similarity that many veterinary professionals have. I was introduced to this nugget of wisdom at the 2018 Wellbeing summit.
This data illuminates a risk factor for depression, psychological distress, compassion fatigue, burnout, and worse. That risk factor is that veterinary professionals often surround their entire identity as their working titles. This actually came up in a recent podcast interview of Dr. Julie Ducote, that will air in July.
While that piece of data is common in our society (not healthy- but common), I’m not going to go down that rabbit hole for the sake of this post. This next piece of data was the real shocker for me.
Only a very small percentage of professionals had interests or hobbies. From those who did, an even smaller number had hobbies that didn't involve animals.
We all know that when we greet any animal there's this sneaky little physical exam involved. So you're still in role, you see!!
Put aside the fact that you MAY be able to restrain yourself from this admittedly weird behavior.
Your brain is not separating. Your heart is not engaging in new experiences. You are not disengaging from work. There's a residual of the veterinary duties that come with you during your transition from veterinarian mode to non-veterinarian mode. This residual will always be present if you are not consciously doing something to release the natural tension that arises from your work.
When you hold the same types of in-role habits you're still in your comfort zone. Even if that comfort zone is wracked with mounting duties, anxiety, or sadness. Even the feeling of sadness can be comforting in the sense that it’s familiar. Sometimes we leave one role to jump into another role- but that role is still not defining who we are (or it doesn't have to.)
The role of hobbies in creating personal space and your identity
Hobbies promote creativity, confidence, socialization, personal development, and help reduce negative stress.
Hobbies and interests can bring your total awareness into the moment as time flies by. Sometimes, you almost lose yourself in this flow of enjoyment. It’s almost as if you were a child again! This is called the being in the zone. You hear athletes talk about this.
I learned about what it meant to hold space or create space through my training as a life coach and yoga instructor, and it is something that I have embraced and incorporated into daily routines, and relationships.
What exactly do I mean by creating or holding space?
It can be creating the space in a relationship to be heard, mindfully- without interruption, by scheduling a time or asking for undivided listening by someone you are close to. It could be a space in your 24-hour day to decompress and re-engage by booking a much-needed massage and planning your day or week to keep that appointment. It can be a space away from work to heal emotionally and work out a budget to support it. It can be a space to explore new opportunities, new experiences, or new connections by joining a meetup group or local sports team.
Hobbies help you prioritize your time. If you had an urgent matter at home, say a water leak in your house, chances are you would create the time to take care of it asap. According to Parkinson’s law, "Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion." In other words, if you had a game night or paint class to attend, likely you would get your work tasks done more efficiently.
It’s not until you create the space can it be filled. I have known people who once they open up their minds and then take action to support their decisions, all of a sudden (so it seems) they find the boyfriend, the job offer is there, the house of their dreams is on the market. Those are all true stories!!!! Call the realtor, jump on match, dust off your resume, whatever! Do you want it? Define in, and go get it. Say it outloud- to people- to the universe. Because how or why would anyone recommend a guy/gal, a home, a job if they don’t know you are looking?
There are so many areas of your life that will suffer if you aren’t paying attention to them, imagine driving on a deflated wheel, rather than a totally inflated one, when one part of your life is missing or you are significantly underperforming in. You’ll be far happier if you understand and dedicate energy toward each are of your life, as a whole. You can do this exploration on your own to start!
Having something to look forward to can also boost positive emotions. Research shows that in addition to the actual event, or vacation, the planning and reminiscing phases are happy and uplifting parts of the process. These phases can lift moods up to 6 months before or 6 months after the vacation! So if you haven’t already, then better get started planning your next vacation! And while you’re at it, go ahead and think about a few of the awesome moments from your last one!
The Problem Is Not the Problem...
"The problem is not the problem, it’s the way you are thinking about the problem."
People have a MILLION “reasons” why they aren’t doing x,y, or z. I adopted this mantra after reading the book How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons, written by two psychologists. The major takeaway from the book was to shift your thinking to solution-based thinking. You see, we often say that we want this or that in our lives. Yet, we also seem to rattle off never-ending lists of reasons that justify why we can’t have what we want to have in our lives.
“You want Light? Then be the Light!”
There's another saying from a classic rom-com, The Wedding Date, "Every woman has the exact love life that she wants." I was as dismayed as Debra Messing's character was.
"Excuse me!?!?"
At the time of watching this movie, I was in my twenties. Yet, it still wasn't 'landing' with me. Until now that is! Now, I get it. And better yet, I agree with it!
I share these things with you to shift your focus out of a victim mentality without control, and into an empowered role of “ I can do it!”
Furthermore, add this logic to your body, your work-life balance, your house, your job, the kid, the list goes on and on, to each area in the areas! You keep refining! Simply insert your desire! Insert it mindfully, regularly, deliberately, on PURPOSE, and with INTENTION.
I support your decision to create the space in your life for you to live the life you desire. Embrace the benefits of engaging in new hobbies and the risks of not living a diverse life. By taking action to create the life you desire, you ensure that you will show up fully present at work to serve your clients and patients at your very best. Taking control of your life will allow you to be 100 % engaged when you go home. And last but not least, taking action towards your desired life will allow you to INTENTIONALLY get those rusty hobby/interest gears moving.
For more information on this subject, read about the Major Key to Wellbeing
Quick Tips
Step 1: Mindset- Start by giving yourself permission to create the space you need. Humans have traveled to outer space- the potential manifestations in our lives are as limited as our beliefs about them. You can figure out how to be on that new softball team if you so desire.
Step 2: Plan- Don't leap off the edge without a parachute. As the saying goes, “The parachute will open once you leap" (but you have to be wearing it!). You’ll also need to budget the finances to support 1 extra day off a month for the much needed kayak trip and hire a babysitter. Catch my drift? Plan accordingly.
Step 3: Act- “Get out of your head and into your heart.” -Renee Machel. Go be (JUST BE) where time zips passed and your troubles melt away.
Thoughtful questions to help loosen the rust on your ‘dream gears’
What would you enjoy doing if time, money, logistics, and other resources weren't a concern?
When was the last time you recall that time FLEW by?
Now, taking 1 perceived challenge at a time, brainstorm ideas to figure out how you might obtain the money, create the time, figure out the logistics, and gather the resources to get yourself into LIVING.
A tip for this type of self-talk is to consider yourself as a friend. How would you talk to a dear friend about solving this so that they could partake in something they truly deserve to do? What types of solutions might you offer, what tone of voice would you use to encourage and empower this person?
For more in-depth and personalized recommendations, consider one-on-one coaching. The highest performers in the world have coaches because at the end of the day and no matter our titles- we are all human, and we're all subject to the elements of living.
If you are stuck in a rut, hiring a professional can help you break free and work through challenges you may be facing to unearth a new chapter in your life. I believe life’s purpose is growth and fulfillment. Keep growing my friends. Keep growing and keep being happier.
